- Putting on chapstick. Do you even know where your lips are?
- Being gentle. Repeat after me. Your baby brother is not a piñata. Yes, I know his head is big.
- Brushing teeth. Your molars are important. Or not. What do I know.
- Putting caps back on markers. Thanks, I’ve always wanted to slip and almost shatter my femur.
- Putting on lotion. Fantastic. Now I have to figure out what to do with these 14 pumps of CeraVe you thought you needed for your tiny little hands.
- Eating. Gusts of wind are not meals.
- Letting me sleep in. Yes, 5am on Saturday is exactly the time you should practice howling like a coyote.
- Restaurants. Hi, where do I check-in my coat and this child?
- Helping. Hey, great job stirring the pancake mix! The ceiling has been overdue for a cleaning anyway.
- Staying small. Remember when you shook my hand, crossed your heart, and promised me you’d never grow up? Yeah, you’ve been terrible at keeping your end of this deal. I hope you realize that no matter where you are, or what size you get, you’ll always be my baby.
What does your kid suck at? Comment and let me know! Follow the shenanigans on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest. Or email me directly to say hello!