Now that I’m a Dad, my attention span is comparable to a meerkat. Wait, what did you say? Sorry what was your name? Is that a hawk? I’ll be sitting in an important meeting and my mind will start to wander. Here are 31 things floating around in my Dad brain.
- Alright, I’m ready for this meeting!
- I feel good and I’m going to crush it. It’s going to be a good day!
- *mind wanders*
- …
- How long before my butt is the only butt I wipe?
- Am I getting dad fat? *squeezes sides*
- Ugh, summer is right around the corner…
- Shit, what did my boss just say? Damnit.
- Shit, I gotta pee. I shouldn’t have drank so much water before this meeting.
- I could use more coffee though…
- Wait, then you’ll have to pee more!
- Stop thinking about pee.
- Focus. Focus. Focus.
- Should I bring rollerblading back in style?
- Rollerblading was the shit. Why did it even go out of style?
- Maybe I can teach my kids how to rollerblade so they can get a rollerblading scholarship for college?
- How do parents even afford college for their kids?
- I hope my kids will just download college into their brains like the Matrix so I don’t have to pay for it.
- Wait, shit, did someone say something important?
- Focus. Focus. Focus.
- I wonder what’s for lunch?
- …
- How many tater tots are too many tater tots?
- I think 25 is a good answer.
- I should text my BFF Greg to see if he agrees or disagrees.
- OMG, someone just walked in 10 minutes late to this meeting!
- How are people without kids late to anything?
- What are people doing with all that spare time and energy?
- I wonder what I’d be doing if I didn’t have kids?
- …
- Shit, I gotta pee…
What’s floating around your Parent brain? Comment to let me know. And be sure to follow the shenanigans on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest. You can email me directly to say hello too!