Do you wanna know how I know you don’t have kids? Here are 20 ways I know:
- You send work emails on a Sunday night.
- You don’t read emails sent back to you.
- You think 8am is early.
- You say things like, “Hey, did you see that one Netflix show?”
- You post pictures on Instagram of things other than small children.
- You have an Instagram account for your pet.
- You think having a dog is on the same responsibility scale as having a child.
- You throw events which start after 9pm.
- You have so much unnecessary energy.
- You say you’re going to change the world but don’t register to vote.
- You say things like “I’m so tired”.
- You say things like “I have so much to do”
- You only wipe your own butt.
- You don’t have stickers stuck to your clothes.
- You can drink alcohol mid-week and be fine.
- You’re always healthy.
- You’re always at brunch.
- You use way too many acronyms (WTF does TFW mean?)
- You talk about starting a podcast.
- You’re not cranky or getting dad-fat like I am.
Comment and let me know if I missed anything on the list! Oh, and be sure to follow the shenanigans on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest. You can email me directly to say hello too!