Do you wanna know how I know you don’t have kids?

Do you wanna know how I know you don’t have kids? Here are 20 ways I know:

  1. You send work emails on a Sunday night.
  2. You don’t read emails sent back to you.
  3. You think 8am is early.
  4. You say things like, “Hey, did you see that one Netflix show?”
  5. You post pictures on Instagram of things other than small children.
  6. You have an Instagram account for your pet.
  7. You think having a dog is on the same responsibility scale as having a child.
  8. You throw events which start after 9pm.
  9. You have so much unnecessary energy.
  10. You say you’re going to change the world but don’t register to vote.
  11. You say things like “I’m so tired”.
  12. You say things like “I have so much to do”
  13. You only wipe your own butt.
  14. You don’t have stickers stuck to your clothes.
  15. You can drink alcohol mid-week and be fine.
  16. You’re always healthy.
  17. You’re always at brunch.
  18. You use way too many acronyms (WTF does TFW mean?)
  19. You talk about starting a podcast.
  20. You’re not cranky or getting dad-fat like I am.

Comment and let me know if I missed anything on the list! Oh, and be sure to follow the shenanigans on FacebookInstagram, and Pinterest. You can email me directly to say hello too! 

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