Wife Fights: The Window Blinds

This argument is so ridiculous, I can’t believe I’m even writing about this.

Okay, so the baby currently sleeps in the guest bedroom where we’ve set up the crib alongside the bed. The 3-year old sleeps in her own room adjacent, so for now, this is our night time workflow until we can convince them to both share a room together. The only issue is that the guest bedroom is the coldest room in the house.

Even with the heater on, this room takes awhile to heat up. And with Winter coming, this situation has been of concern because we don’t want to leave the baby in an ice box. So naturally, we’ve implemented solutions: thick curtains, rugs for insulation, and putting the baby in a sleep sack baby blanket.

While carrying out one last heating arrangement, my wife and I found ourselves face to face in controversy. You see, the window to the guest bedroom has old blinds—the weird faux wood ones you see in the picture above which have slats that you twist a rod to open and shut. I was closing them to seal the room up before we started the daily bedtime routine when the wife stopped me.

“What are you doing?” she said.
“What? I’m closing the blinds.” I replied.
“You’re closing them wrong.”

Oh, here we go.

I was closing the slats face-down, which according to her, was incorrect. For proper insulation, one must close the blinds face-up because the cool air coming from the window will go up instead of down. The baby sleeps at the bottom of the crib and we do not want the incoming cold air going down.

Wow.

Okay, so I’m no firefighter but I tried explaining to her that hot air rises. Her face-up scenario would make sense in the summertime because you’d be sending all the hot air up prompting the room to be cooler down below. If we follow this logic, face-up does not make sense in the wintertime. Also irregardless, if you close the slats face-up or face-down, the hot air will find its way to the top of the room anyway.

“Do you think the baby sleeps on the ceiling?!” she yelled.
“Are you a meteorologist? Did you study wind currents in college?” I questioned.
“At least one of us studied in college!” she shouted.
“I got straight A’s…once!” I answered.
“And a D in Linguistics!” she persisted.
“Hey man, Linguistics is hard!” I argued.

We both stared at each other in silence. I looked to the baby who was busy jumping up and down in his crib and asked him what position he preferred the blinds to be in. He giggled—which was useless in this situation—so I asked the 3-year old who had walked into the room to see what all the commotion was. She quickly reminded everyone that she didn’t want to share a room with her brother and that he should go live in a hotel.

So readers, help us out. Slats up or down? Comment and let us know who’s right or wrong!


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6 comments

  1. Slats up! Simply for the fact that it blocks the sun better in the morning. How it affects hot and cold, I have no clue. Maybe go into Home Depot and have them settle this one. If you do, please record.

  2. Slats go down. Less privacy with slats up. Also, the blinds don’t fully shut slats up. Trust me, this struggle is real. I’m very OCD about the blinds.

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