After feeding and bathing the babies, my wife and I split up parental duties. I’m in charge of doing the dishes while she’s in charge of toy clean up and winding the kids down. After this phase, we regroup and tag the kids together for bedtime—which as some of you may know, is like dealing with mini velociraptors.
A few weeks ago, after doing my part in the kitchen, I overheard my wife supervising what sounded like an intense magna tiles and mega blocks explosion in the living room. NOT MY PROBLEM, I thought to myself as I opened the fridge in search of something to cleanse my palette.
I looked around and my eyes fell upon one of those overpriced organic tropical mango nectar juices we had bought at the store. I took it out, opened it, and waterfalled the juice into my mouth. I put the cap back on and placed it back in the fridge. As I shut the door, the 3-year old was standing right behind it staring at me with a look of horror.
Sidebar: my daughter, like her Mother, is sharp like obsidian and knows how to work the system. I tell people she came out knowing how to do her taxes. She’s also like a grandma and up in everyone’s business, so watch what you say around her.
Here is how the conversation went:
“Hey, I thought Mommy told you to clean up?”
“What are you doing?”
“I just wanted some juice.”
“That’s not how we drink juice.”
“I know, but I was just—”
“Daddy, you need to make better life choices.”
[trying not to laugh]
“It’s not funny, Daddy. Next time use a cup, okay?”
“Thank you.” [Runs away]
Being judged by a tiny human was a hilarious wake up call. So now, whenever I waterfall overpriced organic tropical mango nectar, I just make sure the 3-year old isn’t standing right behind the door.