Daddy Diaries, Part 10: My Life Pre-baby vs. Post-Baby

Getting turnt with the squad.

No doubt, my daughter and wife have changed my life. Looking back, I used to be a totally different person before this gangster suburbia lifestyle took over (free street parking for days, saywhaaaat). Here are 11 ways my life has changed before and after having a baby.

Fitness routine:
Before Baby: 30 minutes of scheduled cardio
Now: Yelling at people trying to catch Pokemon near my front lawn. Should I use my hose?

Drink of choice:
Before Baby: A splash of good whiskey and an ice cube
Now: Sometimes when I take a shower, I close my eyes and can almost taste coffee coming out of the shower head. Is that a weird fantasy?

Career title:
Before Baby: Aspiring filmmaker
Now: Director of Waste Management

Hobbies:
Before Baby: Owning the 3 DVD Netflix account and inhaling movies on the regular
Now: Freaking out because my daughter just touched a used band-aid at the park. You can probably still hear my screams from space.

Demeanor:
Before Baby: Laughing and waving to people with a smile on my face
Now: Crying and waving goodbye to my paycheck with tears rolling down my face

Super power:
Before Baby: Juggling multiple tasks
Now: Juggling multiple groceries bags

Energy:
Before Baby: Going all the way up
Now: Trying to convince my daughter that rain doesn’t come from reindeer’s

Relaxing:
Before Baby: Changing channels
Now: Changing diapers

Travel:
Before Baby: Should we go to the Amazon?
Now: I’m tired, let’s just buy it on Amazon

Music:
Before baby: Rapping all the lyrics to Ludacris in the car
Now: Rapping all the lyrics to Mother Goose Club in the car

Romance:
Before Baby: Get dressed up and going out to dinner
Now: Let’s drop the baby off at grandma’s house so we can both take a nap


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